Often I find myself wanting to stay indoors with a good
book. I make myself go out several times
a week because I know that a walk, even
when the sky is the same colour as the ground – I feel at times as if I’m
inside a snowball – because I know it will make me feel better.
I’m grouchier these days, not as positive in my outlook as
at other times. It may be winter or it may be age.
I’ve noticed that some other old people have less patience,
complain more and are definitely negative. I tell myself that attitude is
everything and I don’t have to be like that. Yet I find myself with gloomy or
grouchy thoughts. Perhaps it’s that after many years on this earth we’ve
experienced a lot of things and are tired of seeing the same old things. We get
into a pattern, make ruts and stay there.
It’s not impossible to get out.
The other day, though, it occurred to me that perhaps a
certain amount of grouchiness, anger, negativity might be necessary to get
through the difficult times. Grouchiness might be a survival tool. Use what you
have – when given lemons, make lemonade.
Then, a few days later, I heard an interview on the radio (I
still love radio, even if it is an older technology; it’s so convenient – you
can be doing other things and connect with something new and different at the
same time) with a carnie who was speaking about the impact of technology on
carnies. Suddenly I was taken into a whole new world. I haven’t seen or heard
it all after all! Of course there is always something new s and interesting out
in the world. All we have to do is go out and look for it or be open to it.
Currently the sun is shining, lighting up the snow, and the
sky is blue.
